Monday, September 21, 2009

Not Undercover Police :)

I saw this story in the news this afternoon under the heading "Nudie run police officers weren't the only ones with pants down" but I think "Not Undercover Police" is more cleverer.
"Senior police have been forced to front the media and admit two officers stripped off and ran around a police van at a set of traffic lights yesterday afternoon. Deputy Commissioner Stewart said he understood about five or six officers were in the van at the time, including a police sergeant, but all but one of them were off duty at the time.
The two officers who allegedly performed the daylight "nudie run" could face wilful exposure and public nuisance charges along with internal disciplinary action. Or they may make a callendar hehehe.
Some new sayings.
OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.
IDEA HAMSTERS - People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOMs - (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
STARTER MARRIAGE - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property, and no regrets.
STRESS PUPPY - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
SWIPED OUT - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
ALPHA GEEK - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.
ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
CHIPS & SALSA - Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
IRRITAINMENT - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trial was a prime example. Bill Clinton's shameful video Grand Jury testimony is another.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
UNINSTALLED - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voice mail of a vice president at a down sizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an Uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." * (Syn: DECRUITMENT)
YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal, "We each owe $8, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps."
SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
GENERICA - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,subdivisions. Used as in "We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were in."
UMFRIEND - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Diane, my ... um ... friend."

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