“I’ve only just finished filling the last divots” I muttered
to myself, (although in reality, it had been about six months), I stood up from
the desk where I had been furiously twittering about Covid vaccine injuries for
the last hour and a half. The cows, led by the devil heifer were trapsing, again,
quite happily over the cattle grid and onto my front lawn.
The last time they had invaded I let the dogs out and spent over
an hour trying to herd them towards the gate near my polytunnel and back onto
the road. Nearly every part of the garden had been run over by the five cows that
were having a vacation from Paddy up the road’s field.
The Devil Heifer is like Klaus Swaab, her merry band of
followers are like a religious sect, kowtowing to their leader, creating bedlam
with every divot, the more frenzied they get the deeper the divots. But this
time I have a plan, instead of chasing the cows I would entice them out by
waving an empty feed bag at the gate, so they thought there was a chance of
some tasty cobs on the go. The idea came from Paddy up the road and the World
Economic Forum both of which I had observed using the tactic before.
So, I’m up at the gate now waving my false promise and Lord
be Praised its working, the Devil Heifer and her cohorts are approaching fast,
a bit too fast actually so I step behind the wall. The heifer stops, she has a
weird look on her face and suddenly she speaks, “Do ye think we are feckin
stupid” WOOAH this cow is talking to me, I pinch myself, maybe this is a dream
or some sort of halucimication, the World has been crazy this last couple of
years after all.
“Ehhh” I’m stuck for words and the pinch hurt so I’m sure I’m
awake, maybe the vitamin D I have been taking to detox myself of the Covid vaccine
spike proteins is making me see talking cows.
“We are just having a peaceful protest here and you start
waving around that empty bag scaring the calves” she says looking over her
shoulder at a couple of the younger animals in her troop.
“What are you protesting?” I say still not believing I’m
having a two-way conversation with a cow. “So, you’ve not heard about the moves
to cull off the herd then? A third of us to be killed initially then more and
more until Bill gets his dream of having more money than everyone again and his
Lab grown meat filling the bellies of your obese offspring who can’t decide
what gender they are”
WOW !!
“All is to save the World from burning up” She is into her
stride now, “Apparently because us cows fart, I will have you know that there was
more methane come out of Davos recently than has ever been emitted here in
Ireland, what do you think talking bull shit emits?
This is one well read cow I think to myself. “Where do you
get all your info?” I ask. “Maude corresponds with Greta Thunderburg a teenager
over in Sweden and she keeps her updated with the 17 WEF goals and Klauss’s
plan to take over the World. Greta thinks she is talking with a teenage Irish girl”.
“She is not a teenager; she is 21 and a millionaire already
from her sales of Climate Disaster books I will have you know” says Maude a
blue grey coloured matronly looking dame. “I like her, at least she knows she’s
a girl”.
“Could you have your protest on the road, it would slow down
the traffic and get more attention for your cause?” I ask hopefully. They
discuss the proposal between themselves in cow which I can’t speak unfortunately
as I’m an English speaker and we don’t bother learning other languages.
“Your grass is rubbish by the way” one of the cows mutters
to me on its way past “Never could understand why you humans keep cutting down
perfectly edible grass”
“Whateva” I thought to myself as they exited the garden and
am sure they were discussing breaking into my neighbours “just fer the craic”
as they lumbered off down the road.
I hobbled back to the house and put the kettle on for a brew,
green tea to assist with the detox along with a vitamin D pill.
I have three dogs who were crowding around hoping for a
treat as I took a seat with my tea, “You would not believe it guys but I just
had a chat with some cows who are protesting the dystopian WEF agendas “ I said
not expecting an answer from the dogs but maybe a tail wag or something. However,
Ben, the smallest and most bullish of the dogs said” Why did you not let us
help with the cows? It was great fun chasing them last time”, You should have
said” I responded and giggled inwardly that I was getting a lecture from my
dogs. “I did ask” said Ben, and Sheila muttered “, he doesn’t speak dog”.
“It is going to be like that George Orwell 1984 in no time”
said Gus my old collie, “with the Thought police, Big Brother and the Ministries
of Truth and Peace”, “How did you learn about 1984?” “I listened to the audiobook
you had on” he replied. “But I thought you were deaf” “OH no that’s just an act
so I get extra attention”.
Benny butted in, “ While we are on the subject of changing
life as we know it we have to protest this move of Bill Gates and the WEF to get
rid of real meat and grow it in the lab, there will be no bones and eating bugs
suck, although I like chasing bees” “There wont be many bees in the planned Mega
Tri City and even here they are trying to get us into 5 min cities, maybe pets
will be banned too with no gardens”
The alarm goes off, I look out the window, no new divots,
phew it was all a dream.
Ben looks up at me his big brown eyes full of love for his
Human, “ I’m afraid not Boss, the 15 min cities, Culling of the beef herd, Introduction
of lab bred meat, Digital ID’s, Central Bank Digital Currencies, Covid 19
vaccine injuries and excess deaths, The mad rush to Net Zero by 2030, Man made
Climate Warming Hysteria, the weird Pronouns and Gender thing, they are all
real and happening now” he said.